HELPING A YOUNG CHILD

Those on the mental health front line for children can be parents or any family member, pediatricians, teachers, coaches, church members, a parent of the child’s friend, nannies/babysitters, school social workers, etc. It is anyone who sees SIGNS of suffering.

Suicidality among young children is rising. We need to listen to what they are trying to tell us and respond accordingly. Never disregard a chid’s expression of pain or wanting to die.

HELPING A YOUNG CHILD

Those on the mental health front line for children can be parents or any family member, pediatricians, teachers, coaches, church members, a parent of the child’s friend, nannies/babysitters, school social workers, etc. It is anyone who sees SIGNS of suffering.

Suicidality among young children is rising. We need to listen to what they are trying to tell us and respond accordingly. Never disregard a chid’s expression of pain or wanting to die.

HOW TO HELP IF YOU ARE NOT THE PARENT
  • Your role is to support the child in the moment and share your observations and concerns with the family.
  • You can respond by simply reflecting back what you hear/see and giving it an appropriate label – not a diagnosis. This gives the child information and a way to talk to someone about what is going on. You can say things like, “It sounds like you’re really feeling awful,” “I can see and hear how sad you are,” “It looks like you feel out of control,” “You’re telling me you feel so bad you don’t want to live.”
  • Then, follow with comfort and reassurance like “We can get you help for those feelings,” “I’m taking you seriously and want to help,” “Let’s talk to someone about that right away.”
  • Your next step is to share what you observed with the parents, unless you have a serious reason to believe this will be harmful. In that case, share it with a mental health professional, a teacher, the school social worker, etc.
    I cannot overemphasize how important this is. Many children will talk to their friends or someone else about how they’re feeling but not share this with their family. With 8% of 9- and 10-year-olds experiencing suicidality, this may save a life.

HOW TO HELP IF YOU ARE THE CHILD’S PARENT

  • You can then tell your child that doctors can help treat this just like any other kind of sickness. For instance, a parent can say, “You seem really sad lately. Sometimes, that can mean you are depressed. We can talk to a doctor and get you help for that.”
  • You can connect the signs your child is showing with words and language that you can both use. “You’ve really been angry lately. Your feelings and behavior can sometimes mean there is something going on in your brain that needs help. We can talk to someone to get help for that.” “I’ve noticed that you aren’t doing your homework and are hanging out alone in your bedroom a lot lately. Are you feeling sad or angry, or is there something else going on? If you aren’t sure how you’re feeling, we can talk to someone to help us figure it out.”
  • Make an agreement about cues, signs, ways to communicate together that signal that your child is struggling or needs help.
  • See my Tedx Talk How to Teach Mental Health Literacy in Schools.

Responding to signs of mental health challenges in children is especially important because disorders that begin in young children tend to become lifetime challenges, but, the earlier they are diagnosed and treated, the better the child’s lifetime outcomes.

WE CAN TEACH MENTAL HEALTH LITERACY TO CHILDREN

Ideally, children would learn mental health literacy at home, in school, in clubs, at places of worship, and everywhere. We can weave the principles of mental health literacy into our interactions with children as conversations about thoughts, feelings, and behavior. We can help children know how their brains affect their thoughts, feelings, and behavior; what the signs and symptoms of mental health disorders are so they can recognize them when they arise; and give them language to use to talk about their mental health so they can get help, eg., “I don’t feel well. I feel sad a lot and don’t feel like being with my friends. Maybe I need help.” I discussed this in my Tedx talk “How to Teach Mental Health Literacy in Schools.”

IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW FEEL(S) SUICIDAL, go to the emergency room, call a mental health professional who can talk to you NOW, or call the police and say you have a mental health crisis, not a criminal situation!

In the US, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

FIND INTERNATIONAL HOTLINES

Text HOME to The Crisis Textline at 741741. They are available 24/7 in the U.S., Canada, United Kingdom, and Ireland.

See Also: HELPING SOMEONE WHO IS SUICIDAL